By Pete Puma
To Butch and me, a "scout" is usually the dude who checks a party for fuckable chicks before the rest of us go in. But there's another meaning, douches. See, there're boy scouts, eagle scouts, and Indian scouts, ya dig? The first two are the ones that old gay dudes fuck in tents in the middle of the night out in the woods. The other one cuts the tops of heads off white dudes, I think, which sounds pretty bad-ass, but that's a subject for another article or whatever.
By Pete Puma and Butch Suede
There's a shitload of misinformativeness goin' 'round about weightliftin' these days, and Butch and I gotta set some crap straight...and maybe show off a little, flauntin' how much we know about pumpin' iron and whatever.
by Pete Puma
Anybody who's met my swami knows that he knows as much about bangin' hotties as I know about suckin' dicks...which is NOTHIN', douche-rockets. I mean, sure, I've thought a little about how I'd slobber my own if I could, but that shit doesn't count.
by Pete Puma and Butch Suede
Duncan Manwood's about as gay as Liberace on astro-gin, but lately, he's been readin' some weird-ass book on how to turn his butt-seekin' cock into a pussy-missile. So, anyways, one of the tips in this book is that he needs to get a girlfriend or whatever. You know, try stickin' it in a bitch's tuna taco for a while and see how that shit goes. Well, I guess he hasn't been too convincin' with his new snatch-owner, cause he thinks she's been lookin' for a little side-dick.
by Butch Suede and Pete Puma
Butch and I've been trainin' this dude who works for a totally huge toy company. I can't say the name of it cause the dude said he'd sue our totally tight, ripped asses if we so much as even whispered it into a hot bitch's cunt. Anyways, he was tellin' us that his company is totally out of ideas for new toys and he's shittin' a brick cause his job is on the fuckin' line. Losin' a client cause he's a fuckin' sissy who can't take an awesome workout is one thing...but losin' one cause he got axed is another, so we put together a list of kickass toys for this dude to give to his bosses and save his ass.