by Pete Puma and Butch Suede
Every dick owner worth a fuck knows the Greek gods were all kindsa kickass and shit, cause those dudes could do whatever the fuck they wanted, bang any hottie they felt like stickin' their poles into (even if there was a steady lay in the picture), and smite the shit outta your ass without blinkin' or whatever, and there wouldn't be word one your pussy ass could say about it. Plus, most of 'em were pretty ripped and huge; not P90X faggot-ripped either, but like Arnold-from-Pumpin'-Iron-awesome-ripped.
|
by Pete Puma and Butch Suede Dudes...You know when your job starts to totally suck? Like, you'd rather get your whole fuckin' body waxed instead of goin' in? That's the way shizz's been for Butch and me lately. The Rip House has kinda gone to shit. Little Dickie Morehead and his cunt of a girlfriend've turned this place from a kickass gym where awesome, fucked-up dudes and boner-makin' hotties come to get ripped and huge, to a place where pervy, old cocksuckers and wrinkly-ass grandmas come to try and put off the nursing home for a coupla months or whatever. When we come home from work, we need to watch like 4 hours of porn just to wash away the pics of flabby tits and droopy turd-cutters that get burned into our awesome brains every day...and that doesn't leave a ton of time for bangin' smokin' babes.
by Pete Puma At the gym today, Butch and I were talkin' about somethin' different for a change...bangin' chicks (duh). It started out with me tellin' Butch how to spot a chick who was totally into anal, but it turned into a fuckin' heated debate about pumas vs. cougars. and who's a better score. |
By Pete Puma The only thing better than pumpin' iron is bangin' chicks. Every dude who's not a faggot knows that shit. Problem is, all that porkin' can make a kid if you're not careful or whatever. Every awesome dude knows that kids are the worst fuckin' thing that can happen to his ass. So, I guess if there's a god, he's a rotten cunt for makin' somethin' so awesome the cause of somethin' so shitty. But this article isn't about religulous bullshit. It's about blowin' your load in a shit-ton of chicks' vages without creatin' stinkin' little shit-makin' machines that'll ruin your life.
by Pete Puma & Butch Suede Butch and I were talkin' the other day about how pussified most superheroes are, and we were like,"We could totally create some awesome superheroes that'd kick the living shit outta every other superhero out there." Spiderman? Pussy. Wolverine? Come the fuck on. The Green Lantern? Our superheroes could ass-rape that pussy without even workin' hard. Sit back, relax, and read about some totally awesome superheroes right the fuck here: |
