by Pete Puma
You dudes who've been readin' To The Chest for a while know that Butch and I are like fuckin' geniuses and shit. Cause one of the keys to bein' huge, ripped, and awesome is bein' totally smart about business and whatever. Anyways, bein' kickass business dudes brought our asses to Florida last week where we had some meetins that're gonna make our asses ultra-rich, dudes. One night, after impressin' the shit outta some big-wigs, we decided to pre-spend some of our fortunes or whatever on a no-holds-barred dinner at Hooters.
|
Guest-Post by "Gay Rich" Handler Pete and Butch asked me to write a guest article for them today because they're out gallivanting or something. Honestly, those two are the most incorrigible sex addicts I've ever met. And they give me such a hard time, I thought to myself, "No, I'm not going to do it until you two stop calling me names like 'ass-faggot,' 'cornholio,' and 'salad tosser.'" Now, I know they're not going to stop but it's so much fun teasing those scoundrels. They told me, specifically, not to write anything too 'faggotized' or 'rump-rangerish' so I thought I'd stick to what I know best...cocks. Here's a list of the ten most awesome cocks in my book, in no particular order.
by Pete Puma Some asshole e-mailed me the other day because he's not so great at talkin' to dudes without soundin' like a panzy doucher. He was askin' me what manly dudes talk about, cause whenever he tries to have a convo with another cock owner, he starts talkin' about hand lotions, Justin Bieber, global warnings, or some other gay shit, and he's got his panties all in a ball worryin' that the other dudes at the gym are startin' to think he's into packin' dude-guts. Here's a list of some manly shit you can talk about at the gym so the other muscle dudes don't feel like they gotta rush outta the showers whenever you walk in. |
by Pete Puma You may or may not know this shit but I was on vacay in California for a week and a half and it was awesome. While you assholes on the east coast were sweatin' your tiny nuts off, I was warmin' up the hotties all up and down the west coast and shit, cause it was kickass chilly there and whatever. I'm not one of those sissies who likes to "enjoy the journey" or any of that gay crap, though, so I take the plane if it gets me where I'm goin' faster than a car. Long story short, I spent plenty of time flyin' from New York to California and back. All that time scopin' out the other assholes in the plane got me thinkin' though, and I thought I'd share some of the types of cunts I saw along the way with you douches.
by Pete Puma I was readin' a book my swami told me I had to read, somethin' about inner peas or some faggotized bullshit, and I didn't know what most of the words were. Good thing there was this thing called a 'glossary' in the back that explained what shit like "dharma" is (besides some cunt on a shit-ass TV show). A lot of douches write in and tell me about some shit at their gym and they wanna know if there's a name for it. Fact is, a lot of this crap doesn't have an "official" name or whatever, so I pulled together some of that shizz, put names to it, and dumped it into this here article, dudes. |
