by Butch Suede and Pete Puma

Butch and I've been trainin' this dude who works for a totally huge toy company.  I can't say the name of it cause the dude said he'd sue our totally tight, ripped asses if we so much as even whispered it into a hot bitch's cunt.  Anyways, he was tellin' us that his company is totally out of ideas for new toys and he's shittin' a brick cause his job is on the fuckin' line.  Losin' a client cause he's a fuckin' sissy who can't take an awesome workout is one thing...but losin' one cause he got axed is another, so we put together a list of kickass toys for this dude to give to his bosses and save his ass.

- Tickle-Me Jacko

- Unabomber Chemistry Set - Butch and I were sayin' the other day that if the Unabomber wasn't so twerpy lookin', he'd be our fuckin' idol and shit.

- Lee Harvey Oswald  Air Pistol & Target Set - Two words: Kick. Ass.

- Rodney King Piñata - Those chink kids sure can take a swing, can't they?

- Goatse Beanbag Toss - Rut Roh.

- Two Girls One Cup Lunchbox - Our kids are too fuckin' fat anyways.

-  Jeffery Dahmer Play Set - The awesomification of toys and shit...too bad Dahmer was such turd burglar.

-  Stephen Hawking Action Figure - Science is for faggots.

- Chas Bono Edition Barbie - Make your freak-kid's confusion seem normal or whatever.

- Rosie O'Donnel Les Be Friends Play Pal - For the little lipstick lesbian in your brood.

Keep on pumpin', dudes.