By Pete Puma & Butch Suede

Butch and I are thinkin' about openin' up a fuckin' sandwich shop or some shit, so we decided we were gonna have to make up some "signature sandwiches" or whatever.  Here's what we've got so far.  Add any of  your suggestions in the comments at the end of the article, bitches.

1. The Nipsey Russell - Fried chicken, watermelon, hot sauce, and pork rinds, with a grape soda vinaigrette dressing, on a hoagie roll.

2. The Liberace - Pork butt, wrapped around a hot dog, with mayonnaise and Nutella on a steaming hot-cross bun.

3. The Rosie O'Donnell - Fried clams, ketchup, minced pickle, cottage cheese, and Fleishman's yeast, with a touch of Nutella served in a soft-shell taco.

"Ya gotta love her spunk." -Some dude I kicked in the nuts.

4. The Mel Gibson - Ham, bacon, limburger cheese, with Jack Daniels barbeque sauce, served on Eucharist bread.

5. The JFK - Sweet-breads, tomato paste, and angel hair pasta on Cuban bread.

In the pic on the right, you can actually SEE how smart JFK was.

6. The Ron Jeremy - Kielbasa, Thai fish sauce, corn, and Miracle Whip on Matzo bread.

I'd like to personally thank Mr. Jeremy for not letting himself go.

7. The Malcolm X - Black Forest Ham, black beans, blackberries, with black olive paste on pumpernickel bread.

Whatcha eatin' there, Cassius? White people?

8. The Chairman Mao - Filet of dog, cocktail franks, crumbled fortune cookies, with yellow mustard on a soy roll.

"I borrowed this move from my buddy, Hitler." - M.T. Tung

9. The Osama Bin Laden - Halal goat, curried camel anus, and swiss cheese in a toasted pita, served with a shot of Colt 45.

How're those virgins workin' out for ya, buddy?

10. The Bernie Madoff - Just close your eyes and bend over.

Keep on pumpin'!

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