by Pete Puma

So, I'm at The Riphouse Gym, trainin' this cunt-doctor, and we're talkin' about cunts cause cunts are what he knows the most about since he studied cunts in college so he could become a cunt-doctor or whatever.  He starts tellin' me all this shit I didn't know about hottie-gashes, and since just rememberin' where the keys to my awesome low-rider Civic are is like hard work for me, I asked him to write the shit down so I could carry it around and impress bitches at parties or whatever.

1. The average size of a black woman's clit is larger than that of the average Asian man's penis.

2. The term "pussy" came into common usage because many vaginas have what is often known as "fish breath."

3. In 1936, Frau Edna Rosenblat achieved the coveted "high c" note with a queef that lasted a full 10 seconds.

4. Some aboriginal cultures in the Outback of Australia use yeasty vagina scrapings as a spread for toast when vegemite is scarce.

5. "Vagina" is actually the Latin word for "cunt."

Best I could do here was show you a picture of a Latin cunt.

6. Corn does not technically become "maize" until it has remained inserted in a menstruating squaw's vagina for at least 2 days.

Now wait just one second here...SHE'S not INDIAN!

7. The term "clam bake" originated when a drunken tart attempted to smoke marijuana with her vagina.

8. Chicks who brag about how pretty their vaginas look are stupid, high-maintenance sluts.  That's not an opinion. That's a fact or whatever.

This chick better hope her cunt's pretty, cause the face is makin' my junk limp and shit.

9. Vagina licking is the leading cause of erectile dysfunction.

"So, Walter, just keep your mug out of your wife's gash and you'll be popping boners before you know it."

10. Condoms cause cunt cancer. ---- You heard it here first.

Keep on pumpin', dudes.